breaking news cnn: Great Ending to Mother's Day

In my last post, The Step-Mother?s Broken Heart, I was telling you about the pain and heartache I was currently feeling over the choice of one of my step-sons to do his best to avoid our family. I pray you didn?t get the wrong impression of my step-son, my husband, or me, and our relationship. I love all my kids, and the feeling of being rejected by them, a feeling our LORD knows far more than I, is a very painful thing that many parents go through, at different times. That being said, I would like to move forward a bit and discuss my Mother?s Day with you, a day I hoped would somehow pass by without me noticing?it didn?t. With one Step-Child in prison, and another not speaking to us?this would be the first Mother?s Day in 11 years that I had received a phone call from my step-sons telling me ?Happy Mother?s Day??

The only other exception to that 11 years, is by some weird happenstance, the boys ended up at our home on Mother?s Day weekend, my first Mother?s Day as Mother and Step-Mother. We; my husband, daughter and I, and our ?part timers?, my step-sons, lived in this, hmmm, how do I go about this description?this not so pleasant single wide trailer that we rented on the property of a junk hoarder?it came with a shop, which we needed at the time, I digress, I don?t remember why we ended up with the boys that weekend, but I remember feeling almost sick about it, yes they were going home that day, but their mother had to wake up on Mother?s Day sans her children. Not that Mother?s Day is about receiving anything, but the Mother?s Day previous when I was pregnant he told me I wasn?t a mother yet, and this particular Mother?s Day, he didn?t get me a card or anything, (not even from my 5 month old daughter) because, I wasn?t his mother?(I know your touched by the out pouring of emotion I received), well, the boys liked to go explore the junk ?collection? strewn throughout the property, old cars, boats, campers, and who knows what. I was always nervous when they would go exploring, but was told I needed to let boys be boys? When they came back from exploring that morning (funny, back then they actually woke up in the morning, my how times have changed, LOL!) They greeted me, not only with a Mother?s Day card their mother took them to buy before they had come for their visit, but with the most hideously ugly blue plastic flower I had ever seen in my life, I cried, I loved it, I even put it in a glass to display it. That flower, though so horribly ugly, was the most beautiful thing to me, they didn?t buy it or make it, but considered it a hidden treasure, something they could bring back to me from their exploration of the unknown in our personally ?treasure trove? of what was to us, junk, but to them a place to find something that money couldn?t buy. That my dear readers was my most favorite Mother?s Day, until May 9th, 2011.

I dreaded it, the boys always called me, and I knew that if my oldest step-son would call anyone on Mother?s Day (from prison) it would be his mother (which it should be) and possibly his grandmother. I kept telling myself I was ok with that, but it would be the first time he wouldn?t call to tell me happy Mother?s Day. My other step-son, as mentioned above, still wasn?t talking to me, my husband, or my mother-in-law, the only window into his life was glimpses through his little sister?s facebook page, (and that had only been the last month or two, because when he de-freinded me, he de-friended her so I could use her page to see what he was up to). That morning I got up, (My Husband told me Happy Mother?s Day first thing) got myself dressed, hair and make-up on, boys dressed nice, girls in dresses (well, the oldest wore a skirt and shirt that only a 10 year old could appreciate), The kids had all said their Happy Mother?s Days, and brought me their homemade cards that they had been working on, I had everyone ready, and set off to go pick up the women from the local re-entry center. On our way to church, I was blessed to hear them talk to their mother?s and receive calls from their children and grandchildren?and desperately trying to to feel sorry for myself, if I didn?t think about it, if I just put it out of my mind (the boys always called in the afternoons on Mother?s Day anyway), and kept thinking they haven?t called because I?m at church. Well, my first treat of the day was my husband agreeing to take a picture with me and the kids! (he hates pictures). Fast forward through taking the ladies back, looking at a prospective church building, having a very cool Mother?s Day buffet lunch, and coming home?I had an e-mail from my oldest step-son! It was beautiful, the things he said, reminded me that these past 11 years haven?t been what I thought he thought they were, he wrote to me about his love and appreciation. You?ll never guess?ok, you guessed it, I cried.

We kind of bummed around the rest of the day?and at the end of the day, I tried not to look at the clock?the enemy kept taunting me, reminding me that my other step-son hadn?t called, cementing my fear that he was ending his relationship with our family?I would pray, to get those thoughts out of my head, and found myself really pouring my heart to God on my step-sons behalf?then *ding*, an e-mail notification from my phone? a friend request on facebook?from my step-son. My husband was already asleep, I stared at the request on my phone, thanked the Lord and sobbed. I accepted the friend request and sobbed some more, after another heart to heart with God, I went to his page and as much as I wanted to make a huge deal out of it, and tell him how much it meant to me, I knew that might push him away. I wrote: ?Thank you. I love you.?

Far beyond my husband agreeing to stand with the kids and I for a Mother?s Day picture, and the homemade cards and video messages the kids had made for me,reading the honest and encouraging words regarding my relationship with my oldest step-son, and receiving not a phone call, e-mail, card or letter, but a friend request, inviting me to be able to look into a part of my other step-sons life?made for my new favorite Mother?s Day.

My step-son still has called, our latest interaction was on a facebook comment thread, ?two words?, it wasn?t much, but enough to keep a very faded connection alive. I love my children, all of them, it is painful to feel out of touch and pushed aside?But like I said, God Personally knows on a far grander scale, how it feels. And if even God as a Father goes through those experiences, why would we as mothers and step-,mother?s get to be spared that same heartache. Ultimately, by keeping the Lord involved, even if it is only on my and my husband?s end, our relationship will not only be fully restored, but thrive. Like the story of the prodigal son, like God waits patiently, and lovingly for those He loves to reach out to Him and send Him that ?friend request?, inviting Him into their lives, we are waiting with arms opened wide, but he has to be the one that comes forward, we are to wait and pray.

Sister in the step-motherhood, keep pressing on, your prayers aren?t going unheard, or unanswered, your love and guidance isn?t going unnoticed, but instead know there is a time for everything. God bless you, keep looking up, and remember being driven to our knees results in time with God, and time with God is never, ever time wasted.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-11

1 To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:
2 A time to be born,
And a time to die;
A time to plant,
And a time to pluck what is planted;
3 A time to kill,
And a time to heal;
A time to break down,
And a time to build up;
4 A time to weep,
And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn,
And a time to dance;
5 A time to cast away stones,
And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace,
And a time to refrain from embracing;
6 A time to gain,
And a time to lose;
A time to keep,
And a time to throw away;
7 A time to tear,
And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence,
And a time to speak;
8 A time to love,
And a time to hate;
A time of war,
And a time of peace.

9 What profit has the worker from that in which he labors? 10 I have seen the God-given task with which the sons of men are to be occupied. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end.